It was the last goodbye. The only thing was, I didn’t know it at the time. My father seemed like he was feeling better. It had been a week since we learned the news that he had cancer. Before that, he simply wasn’t feeling right. After a couple of weeks of feeling bad he decided to go to the hospital. There he received medical attention and started feeling better.

Then there was the surgery. They needed to remove fluid buildup. After that, he said he felt much better. In fact, he wanted to go back home, but not eating much in the previous three weeks left him weak. This meant he would go to a nursing home/rehab facility until he could get his strength back.

When I saw him he was in good spirits. He talked about going home on Friday, but since he wasn’t able to get in to see the oncologist the trip home would have to wait. They needed to hear from the doctor before they would release him from rehabilitation.

My time in Forsyth was mostly spent sitting in his room talking with him, well, actually he did most of the talking, but I sat and listened. I realized that was the best thing I could do at the time. I heard stories that I knew and a few that I didn’t.

It was Wednesday when I saw him last. We had made a trip to the doctor’s office to see his surgery doctor. It was there dad learned that he would be staying in the rehab center a bit longer. He took the news in stride. He wanted to go home, but he knew that he would have to wait. He said it was fine.

I'm discovering that it is possible to fail, yet succeed. Sometimes we try so hard to succeed at things that, in the end, just don't matter that much. The danger is that we succeed in those things, yet fail at the things that really matter. I'm discovering that it is possible to lose, yet win. That in order to save yourself, you must lose yourself, abandon yourself to the Mystery that is God.

I'm grateful for these lessons. I pray they are lessons that last and make a difference in how I plan my day and what I make my focus. After all, there is a chance that in success, I discover failure. Lord, give me the grace and the eyes to see the difference.