Yet, on the authority of God’s Word, and our own Church, I must repeat the question, “Hast thou received the Holy Ghost?” If thou hast not, thou art not yet a Christian. (From Sermon 3: Awake Thou Sleeper)

As I read through John Wesley's sermons I am amazed at how often he defined a Christian as one who has received the Holy Spirit. He was not ashamed of his view and this view would get him in hot water from time to time.

In some of his sermons he went as far as to say that even though you might act like a Christian, look like a Christian, or even smell like a Christian, if you had not received the Holy Spirit then you were not.

He didn't care if you had been attending a church your whole life, or if you fed the hungry and clothed the naked, or even if you were clergy. He even said that he was an "almost Christian" for years.

How many of us and our memebers would Wesley consider 'Almost Christians'? As I reflect on Wesley's definition, it causes me to wonder if perhaps the greatest need for the Methodist church today is for us to preach conversion to the church members (including the clergy).

Wesley's fear wasn't that Methodism would cease to exist, but that it would have the form of religion and lack the power. Our fear of Methodism is that we cease to exist. Perhaps it is time for us to concentrate more on the power of religion (the Holy Spirit empowering the life of love), rather than the form.

Many people of good will strive wholeheartedly for peace, mutual understanding, human encounter, world unity, and living harmony. Yet human vulnerability in face of the divisiveness that followed the Fall can never be totally overcome by excellent intentions, marvelous slogans, peace marches and conferences, disarmaments, sensitivity training courses and group dynamics alone. All of these efforts can be helpful. They can provide some relief, but not a cure; they should be put into practice insofar as possible, but they will never be sufficient in themselves to overcome our basic disunity. - Adrian Van Kaam, The Tender Farewell of Jesus pg. 124.

The above quote reminds me that good intention, while good, are not enough. It has taken me a long time to realize this and in some ways, I'm still coming to that realization. At times I live like I believe that good intentions offered up in Christ's name will provide the cure. Van Kaam reminds me that while it is important to practice these intentions, in the end, they will not be enough to offer the cure. They may provide some relief (which is important), but the cure will remain elusive.

A reality that we must grapple with is that we can do nothing and are nothing without God. Sure our pride will beg to differ, but when all has been done, we will realize that our efforts will always come up short to provide the cure that is really needed. God, through Jesus, is the one who provides the cure. Our role is to allow God's will to be done in our lives no matter how daily, boring, mundane those acts might seem.

Henri Nouwen writes,

The great illusion of leadership is to think that man can be led out of the desert by someone who has never been there. Our lives are filled with examples which tell us that leadership asks for understanding and that understanding requires sharing. So long as we define leadership in terms of preventing or establishing precedents, or in terms of being responsible for some kind of abstract "general good," we have forgotten that no God can save us except a suffering God, and that no man can lead his people except the man who is crushed by his sins. Personal concern means making Mr. Harrison the only one who counts, the one for whom I am willing to forget my many other obligations, my scheduled appointments and long-prepared meetings, not because they are not important but because they lose their urgency in the face of Mr. Harrison's agony. Personal concern makes it possible to experience that going after the "lost sheep" is really a service to those who were left alone.

Many will put their trust in him who went all the way, out of concern for just one of them. The remark "He really cares for us" is often illustrated by stories which show that forgetting the many for the one is a sign of true leadership.

I've been discovering the reality of this the past year or so. It has caused me to wonder if by defining leadership by our projects and programs we have in reality moved away from the kind of leadership Jesus displayed. As my schedule gets filled, I find it more difficult to care for the 'lost ones.' As my time gets busy I find my view of the "greatest good" defined by the "numbers served." Yet, the One I've been called to follow defined himself as one who was willing to leave the 'numbers' and search for the "one lost." My my life be reflective of His.

I was reading Looking for Jesus by Adrian van Kaam and stumbled upon this wonderful passage:

Clearly, there is no greater thing we can do than to be faithful to the work of God in the most simple events of our daily life. we must do the common work of every day in an uncommon way-doing this work in loving union with Jesus. It may sometimes seem easier to do great things than to do small ones. The grandeur of an enterprise, the excitement of a splendid project, the interest of others carries us forward. Their admiration sustains us in such moments more than Jesus' grace. We act, then, not because of him but because we feel successful, important, liked, needed. We become spellbound by praise, so much so that we no longer hear his voice in the depth of our hearts. Bewitched by the projects of people, we become estranged from the Father's work. Spoiled by success, we may become alienated from him. - pg 102.

Wow. I believe he nailed it. I find it is easy to get off track of following God's will because the pull of the 'grand plan' is so strong. Instead of being faithful to what God has called me to, I run off following my own dreams and visions. I'm not sure it is a problem just with me. How many of our plans are really of God?

Early in his ministry Jesus had to face these same temptations. Satan took him aside and started suggesting how he could make a grand statement by changing stone to bread, leaping off the temple, or even worshiping Satan himself! Perhaps Jesus knew that God calls us to be faithful, and at times that faithfulness is shown in the small matters and not necessarily in grand expressions.

Maybe it is time for me to put my dreams and my visions on hold and allow Jesus to live through me, even if that requires simple dreams and visions. As van Kaam writes, success can spoil our relationship with God and even alienate us from him.

The man walked away depressed. Jesus had just told him that to gain eternal life he would have to give up all that he had and sell everything. Since he was rich, the news wasn't all that good.

As the man walked away, Jesus told those standing around how difficult it was for the rich to enter the kingdom of God. As shock was being expressed by those who were realizing what Jesus was saying, he comforted them by acknowledging that with God all things were possible.

Peter spoke up and said "We have left everything for you." When I read these passages I usually miss this statement from Peter. For Peter, the gospel meant leaving everything. Jesus responded, "no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not get back very much more in this age, and in the age to come eternal life." (Luke 18:28-30). Could it be that Peter had left house, wife, and all for the sake of the gospel? I believe that he did.

I don't know about you, but there are times when Mr. Bitterness (as a friend of mine calls 'him') shows up. I don't think that Peter was bitter in this passage, but I know I am when I say the same things to Jesus. There are times when what I've sacrificed for the gospel become very real and very painful. Then if things don't go my way it is easy to say, "Look what I've given up...."

Living in America it is easy to see what others have and begin to envy their lifestyle, what they have, where they go on vacation, knowing that you could do the same thing, if you weren't doing what you were doing for the gospel. At the same time, there are others, many others, who have given up much more than I have. They have sacrificed their families, their health and their very lives. As you read this there are those who are not sitting behind a desk looking at a monitor or laptop screen. They are bruised, broken and in jail. They have given all to follow Jesus.

There is a bitterness to the gospel. While it is definitely Good News, it also calls for sacrifice. Jesus assures us, however, that whatever we give up, it will be worth it. One day we will be so glad that we made the sacrifice, that we sent Mr. Bitterness on his way to someone else's house, and continued to give all that we could for the sake of the Gospel. Until then, we rest in knowing we are doing all that we do for Him.

"...did Jesus support the law or undermine it? What was at stake was his implicit, and sometimes explicit, claim: that in and through his own work Israel's god was doing a new thing, or rather the new thing, that for which Israel had longed. And when that happened everything would be different. Torah could regulate certain aspects of human behaviour, but ti could not touch the heart. That did not constitute a criticism of Torah; Torah operates in its own sphere. But when the promises of scripture were fulfilled, then the heart itself would be changed, and the supreme position of Torah would in consequence be relativized. What was at stake was eschatology, in the sense already argued, not a comparison between two styles or patterns of religion." - N. T. Wright Jesus and the Victory of God (380).

I found this section from Wright insightful. As I read it, I immediately thought of John Wesley's heart warming experience. For years before this experience, Wesley had operated as a Christian. He did the right things, didn't do the wrong things and tried hard to be holy. Yet, what he found was that he failed.

After May 24, 1738, Wesley found that he still struggled, but his heart had been changed. Instead of always being victim, he was victor! This is what happens when God grants us the gift of His grace. It isn't about what we can do, it is about what God does within us. This led Wesley to teach that, for the Christian, sin no longer dominates. Instead the Holy Spirit empowers the believer so they can have victory over sins that at one time would imprison them.

As Wright explains, the Torah (Law) has its place, but when scripture is fulfilled (and it has been through Jesus), the consequence is that it is relativized. Now the transformed heart fulfills the role of the law. We fulfill the law not because we beat ourselves into submission by obedience, but because we live out the gift that God has given us; the power of true inner transformation. 

I was reading a section from Urban T. Holmes, III A History of Christian Spirituality and something caught my eye. As Holmes was discussion Richard Baxter and his classic work The Reformed Pastor he had this comment, "He is more rigid than Ignatius ever was, however. We must not be too hard on Baxter. He wanted to make things simple, which usually gets us in trouble because we end up being moralistic and pietistic. (Pg 130)"

I immediately recognized the reality of this. When I try to make my faith simple, it ends up being legalistic. It is much easier to "not swear" than it is to "build others up with what I say" (Ephesians. 4:29 ). It is much simpler saying, "Give 10%" than it is to give generously and make all that we have available to how God wants to use it. It is much easier to say "don't do this," or "don't do that," than it is to show compassion to those around me.

Yet, I want a simple faith. I want the black and white. I want the do and don't list. I want the road map to heaven, but that is not what I'm given. Instead I'm given a still small voice deep within that calls me to love even when I don't feel like it. I'm given a whisper (Is. 30:21) telling me which way is the right way.

I've discovered that true faith is a difficult faith. It is a faith that drives me to my knees and calls me to quiet my life long enough to hear. It is a faith of knocking, seeking, asking and not giving up.

Jesus' command to love hasn't escaped my notice. When asked what the greatest commandment was, Jesus agreed that it was to love God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength and to love our neighbor as ourselves. It seems so clear, yet, I find it difficult.

As I spend time with the spiritual masters (and I include John Wesley in that category) I find they keep returning to love as the goal of the spiritual life. Is that what it is really all about? Love? To be honest, that was kind of a let down. I would venture that most people would say they love, and love well. So, why spend so much time focusing on love if we already love?

Wesley has help me see that the love he was taking about, Jesus talked about and the spiritual masters talked about is of a different degree (Wesley's word) or quality (my word) than what I usually experience or practice. Wesley believed that being perfect was being perfect in love; a love that wasn't marred by human sin (jealousy, self-will, pride, greed, etc.). It is a pure love. The kind of love that Jesus displayed when he prayed, "Not my will but yours." The kind of love we see on the cross. The kind of love that is characterized by grace, compassion, patience, and self-denial.

I realize, now, I love poorly. So my prayer has become, "Jesus teach me to love." After all, that is the goal.

It was about 30 days ago that I decided to begin getting up early. For 30 days now my alarm has gone off and I have gotten up without getting back into bed. I find I enjoy my times in the morning, although I am finding this time change thing a bit difficult.

As I was reading today I came across some advice from John Wesley on this very topic:

Yea, and it will be far easier to rise early constantly, than to do it sometimes. But then you must begin at the right end; if you rise early, you must sleep early. Impose it upon yourself, unless when something extraordinary occurs, to go to bed at a fixed hour. Then the difficulty of it will soon be over; but the advantage of it will remain for ever. (Sermon 89, A More Excellent Way)

I'm finding his advice is true! Getting up everyday at the same time is easier than sleeping in and trying to get back in schedule the next day. Also, going to bed early makes a difference too. I guess he was being Mr. Obvious there.

People often think of Christian morality as a kind of bargain in which God says, "If you keep a lot of rules, I'll reward you, and if you don't I'll do the other thing." I do not think that is the best way of looking at it. I would much rather say that every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a Heaven creature or a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow creatures, and with itself. To be the one kind of creature is Heaven: that is, it is joy, and peace, and knowledge and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage, impotence, and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or the other. - C. S. Lewis

I know there are things that if I choose to do them, I will never be the same. I believe we have all had that "after this, I will never be who I was" type of experiences. We knew that if we stepped over the line, or took the plunge, or ate the fruit, we would never be the same. I believe that is what C. S. Lewis is hinting at here. Each choice has a consequence, not just a what happens type of consequence, but also a consequence of being. Our choices have the power to change us.

I believe this is what John Wesley meant when he talked about the dispositions of the heart. As we choose to follow God and God's way, the dispositions of our heart are changed toward the good, or God. If we choose to not follow, to allow sin to reign in our hearts and lives, well, that changes our dispositions too. Choosing to follow will transform our heart from a selfish, sinful disposition, to one that is characterized by loving God and loving others.

Practicing the means of grace (spiritual disciplines) is a way we choose to allow the dispositions of our heart to be transformed. Wesley taught that the means of grace conveyed God's grace into the life of the individual. When we practice spiritual disciplines, we are choosing to have our heart turned toward God and transformed by God's grace. Therefore, the disciplines are not optional practices if one has time, but essential practices if one is wanting the dispositions of the heart transformed.